Rediesel Recipe[]
Part-time traveler and full-time foodie, the Iron Chef of the Rediesel Desert, and connoisseur of Eclipsite meat—that's me in a nutshell! If you find yourself lost in the desert, you're either really brave or really stupid, but don't worry, cause as long as you have Uncle Johnny's recipe book on you, your last meal won't be spent eating sand! That stuff's hard to get out of your system, you know? Hahaha! You silly bird!
Introduction[]
What's that? You're a vegetarian?! Please, that's no excuse to pass up camel meat like this! Just pretend it's fruit or something! I won't tell if you don't tell, okay? Just give it a try; I promise you'll be crazy for it after just one bite!
Volume III: The Roving Camel[]
Back when Uncle Johnny was just a lad, I had the brilliant idea of crossing the entire desert on foot (a fool's errand, I know, but I can't help it if I got dropped on my head once or twice as a child, okay?). It was thanks to this lapse in thinking that I almost died out there. Had it not been for the Roving Camel Caravan passing by and digging me out of the sand, my goose would've been cooked! Not only that, but I got to taste some of the best damn camel meat in the world, so all's well that ends well! The camel was prepared by the caravan leader himself; I was hungry enough to eat the whole thing, so how could I refuse?
He served me up a freshly-cooked chunk of meat on a plate. It was perfectly charred on the outside, and you could still hear the camel fat crackle and pop. It looked thick and stringier than beef, but wouldn't you know it: the whole thing melted in my mouth like butter! The second you tear off a piece with your teeth, the meat practically glides down your throat. And the aroma? Let me tell you, it hit me like a camel kick to the face! The best part? This kind of pure, high-quality meat didn't need any sort of seasoning. They served it to me PLAIN! This stuff's good enough to make you want to strip naked and run through the desert for more (though I don't think the other desert folk would take too kindly to that…).
The camel we ate was chosen by none other than the caravan leader and yours truly. All the camels they had were fat and strong, so we had a rough time picking the perfect one. "Oh, that one with the nice coat eats too much, let's pick that one!" "Oh, that one walks funny because its legs are too long, let's go with that one!" "Hey, this one's all skin and bones, somehow! Can't be long for this world, I'd wager!"
In the end, we chose the fattest, oiliest camel in the lot. The caravan leader told us the sun was getting to be too much for this one, so he thought we should use it before we lose it. I couldn't see any health issues with the camel, but the Caravan assured me that it was fine, and the camel was perfectly safe to eat.
We spent the whole evening eating the entire camel. For the full experience, we paired it with some cheese made from its milk and some sand. It was the best damn meal I'd had in a long time, and that's saying something! After a couple of drinks, I asked the caravan leader, "Don't-cha feel kinda bad sometimes, slaughtering a camel this good?" So he told me, "What's there to feel bad about? Can't get new camels if we don't get rid of the older ones! Besides…" He took a huge gulp of camel milk, "This caravan's my brother's, and so are these camels! So eat your fill, and quit worrying!"
Anyways, vegetarian or not, you don't want to miss out on this "fruit" of the desert! Really, just think of it as fruit if you have to, and try it out! You won't regret it!