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Rediesel Recipe[]

Part-time traveler and full-time foodie, the Iron Chef of the Rediesel Desert, and connoisseur of Eclipsite meat—that's me in a nutshell! If you find yourself lost in the desert, you're either really brave or really stupid, but don't worry, cause as long as you have Uncle Johnny's recipe book on you, your last meal won't be spent eating sand! That stuff's hard to get out of your system, you know? Hahaha! You silly bird!

Introduction[]

By now you must be thinking, "These desert guys must really be drinking rediesel to be crazy enough to eat that!" Well, you're wrong! When the boys are thirsty, we hit Uncle Johnny's favorite watering hole—the Squirming Sandworm Bar, for good drinks and good times! Huh? Not old enough to drink? Bahaha, they serve camel milk for kiddies, too!

Volume II: Beverages in the Sand[]

Now, underage or not, if you set foot in this desert, there's no avoiding this watering hole. Word has it that the bar owner is tight with Sinsa, so I suggest keeping your head down when you're here. Don't go acting all big and tough around these guys. Even without the Rediesel Wrench hanging around, the security turrets can shoot the piss out of you faster than you can apologize. Why, just a week or two before I started writing this book, I saw a bunch of hot-headed punks trying to stir up trouble in the bar. So what happened next? Every one of 'em was taken care of by concerned bullets in under two minutes! Drink responsibly and be polite, if you don't get the chops to put up a real fight.

Now, the tequila they make here is really unique. Other places, they mix their agave with cactus, throw in a few leaves, and leave it to rot in a barrel. The final product is about 70% of this slop, 20% rediesel extract (rumored to be the only way we ever drink it out here!), and 10% sand. This is piss tequila, no matter what you call it! But these guys, they're amazing. They use REAL blue agave (who knows where they get it from?) and nothing else, and their process is legit! They bake it in an oven for over 5 days at 700°F to release its natural juices, then use a wrench or a hammer to break the plant up and grind it down in a stone grinder. After that, they keep it in oak barrels for aging. (I wonder what an oak tree looks like?) When you pour it in a glass, it turns golden or brownish red, a real treat for the eyes! Take a lick of Northland sea salt, knock back a shot, and you'll feel like you swallowed the whole freaking sun! I can't recommend the stuff enough! The Anejo is what you want!

Also, it looks like they added a new cocktail to the menu recently. It's made with vodka, lime juice, ginger beer, a little love, and a lot of ice! I think it was called a "mule" or something. Either way, do yourself a favor and try it if you're in the area!

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